Unexpected Sparks

The English poet, critic, and writer Samuel Johnson said,

"Our brightest blazes of gladness are commonly kindled by unexpected sparks." 

Let me tell you about one of my brightest blazes...actually, I'll show her to you.

A big thanks to Ginny Daniels for capturing such sweetness (http://www.gbdaniels.com/#)


Sweet Jocelyn Stone, 18+ pounds of snuggly, happy, goodness. She laughs hysterically every time I wear my hair in pigtails and when her Papa pretends like he's sneezing. The sparkles in my wedding ring fascinate her, as do water bottles, car keys, earrings, and pretty much anything else that crackles, shines, or clinks. She'll bounce for hours in her Johnny Jump-Up (parents, consider this a strong recommendation to invest in one). She thinks it's silly to spew black-eyed-peas all over Daddy and that her new big brother hung the moon (If you don't know our story, then keep reading. I'll explain in a later post). She has lengthy conversations with Cora, our Great Dane who is about six times her size. She sees the world through big, bright, baby blues and she makes me pause to think that things are wonderful, too. How quick we are to forget! She is loving and trusting and pure. Being a mama has definitely made me appreciate my own parents in a way that I surely never did before and it's deepened my understanding of the cross more than any theological study or Sunday sermon ever could. God sacrificed His son, His own child, for me! Why has that not daily brought me to knees with gratitude and appreciation? The composer Isaac Watts says it better than I ever could:

Did e'er such lover and sorrow meet,

or thorns compose so rich a crown.

Were the whole realm of nature mine, 

that were an offering far too small;

love so amazing, so divine, 

demands my soul, my life, my all.

Yes, my precious daughter has taught me many things, brought me unimaginable joy, and indescribably enriched my life. She is one of my brightest blazes of gladness. So would you believe that I never wanted her?

It's true. In fact, if you know me well, you know that I've said that about almost all of the really amazing gifts in my life (including my husband...don't worry, he already knows this. I'm not publicly confessing anything here). I naively believed the doctor who told me that I would likely never be able to have children and, for the sake of transparency, I'll confess to being terrified by horror stories of stretch marks, weight gain, morning sickness, atrocious labors and deliveries, etc...I should add that I'm now committed to sharing positive pregnancy and birth stories so, if you're interested, then ask me. I have a few. I was so adamant about not having biological children that it was part of our premarital counseling. I wanted to give Josh a fair warning because I knew that starting a family was important to him. That was one of many moments in my life when I'm sure the Lord was just looking down on me and chuckling. Now, let me tell you a little bit about my unexpected spark.

Surprise! Four months after our wedding, I found out that I was pregnant with a very unexpected, unplanned baby. I only got to carry that sweet little one for a few weeks before he or she (I think she...call it a mama's hunch) went home to be with the Lord. Short though it was, that little life accomplished a mighty purpose: changing my heart. I was still riddled with uncertainty about my ability to have babies and fears about the process, but I was confident that, if possible, I wanted to experience the gift of carrying and giving birth to life. Three months later: enter Jocelyn.

So today, along with celebrating 6 months of little J-Bird's life (Please indulge me as I use the cliche´, "I can't believe how time is flying!), I'm also celebrating all of the unexpected sparks that have turned into bright blazes of gladness in my life and thanking the Lord that,

As the heavens are higher than the earth, so [His] ways are higher than [my] ways and [His] thoughts than [my] thoughts. Isaiah 55:9

Thank goodness that I don't always get what I want! Hold hope, Friend, your current circumstances might be the kindle to your brightest blaze of gladness yet.