The Cow and the Coat of Many Colors

I hit a cow. Yep, when I was in college, I crashed my tiny white Neon into a gigantic brown cow while driving home from work one starless country night. The cow-shaped hole in my windshield, along with rather severe front end damage was enough to total my car and earn me the unfortunate nickname "Butcher" for the rest of the school year (although, I should add, my bovine adversary remained standing and wholly unaffected as I careened into the nearest ditch). My husband sometimes reminds me of this story and chuckles, gloating, no doubt, in what he considers to be proof that his driving abilities are, in fact, superior to my own. Aside from providing Josh with a few boasting rights, I've never thought of that event as especially significant...until today. Tommy Nelson says it perfectly in The Story of God, "He uses all things, the great and the small, to accomplish His will. In fact, behind all the seemingly pointless, confusing, and mind-boggling events of life, God is patiently working out His plan." 

While driving down the road this afternoon, Aiden said to me, "Mom, have you ever been in a car wreck?" After relaying this story and offering him numerous reassurances to the cow's well-being (forget about me, he was highly concerned about how I may have injured the cow) he began trying to thoroughly define the word "ditch." Ultimately, he decided that a ditch must be a really deep hole that one is unable to climb out of, "kind of like the one," he said, "that Joseph's brothers threw him in." And that's how the story of my cow crash turned into an hour long discussion about the story of Joseph.

Maybe you're not at all acquainted with the Bible. Maybe you are and, as all too often happens with familiarity, its stories have become commonplace and lackluster. Consider me guilty as charged! I encourage you to read (or re-read) this riveting story in its entirety (found in Genesis 37-50 or, thank you modern technology, through Google). Sold into slavery by his jealous brothers, falsely accused and imprisoned for years, forgotten by friends who promised to advocate for his release, Joseph's story is one of despair, betrayal, hurt, and, ultimately, forgiveness and reconciliation. But trust me, an abridged version does not do justice to the intricacy and depth of this beautiful story.   

My car accident was a slightly scary (mostly just embarrassing) incident. God used it to create an opportunity for me to teach my son about His goodness and His sovereignty through one of the Bible's most enthralling characters. Joseph's story is heart-wrenching. Maybe your story is heart-wrenching, too. Maybe you feel hurt, betrayed, forgotten, forsaken, deeply wronged by injustice, or trapped in the midst of hopeless circumstances. I imagine Joseph did, too. But his story concludes like this: his trembling, petrified brothers throw themselves at his feet, offer themselves as slaves, wait to incur the wrath that they're certain is coming, and Joseph says, "Don't be afraid...You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives (Gen. 50:20)." The God of Joseph's story is the God of your story. The God who, after 10 years of heartache,  allowed Joseph to become one of the most powerful men in Egypt and used him to spare the lives of countless people from a ravishing famine (including the brothers who severely mistreated him) is the God who can use your darkest hour to accomplish something magnificent. Hold on, friends, it's not yet the end of your story. 

Unexpected Sparks

The English poet, critic, and writer Samuel Johnson said,

"Our brightest blazes of gladness are commonly kindled by unexpected sparks." 

Let me tell you about one of my brightest blazes...actually, I'll show her to you.

A big thanks to Ginny Daniels for capturing such sweetness (http://www.gbdaniels.com/#)


Sweet Jocelyn Stone, 18+ pounds of snuggly, happy, goodness. She laughs hysterically every time I wear my hair in pigtails and when her Papa pretends like he's sneezing. The sparkles in my wedding ring fascinate her, as do water bottles, car keys, earrings, and pretty much anything else that crackles, shines, or clinks. She'll bounce for hours in her Johnny Jump-Up (parents, consider this a strong recommendation to invest in one). She thinks it's silly to spew black-eyed-peas all over Daddy and that her new big brother hung the moon (If you don't know our story, then keep reading. I'll explain in a later post). She has lengthy conversations with Cora, our Great Dane who is about six times her size. She sees the world through big, bright, baby blues and she makes me pause to think that things are wonderful, too. How quick we are to forget! She is loving and trusting and pure. Being a mama has definitely made me appreciate my own parents in a way that I surely never did before and it's deepened my understanding of the cross more than any theological study or Sunday sermon ever could. God sacrificed His son, His own child, for me! Why has that not daily brought me to knees with gratitude and appreciation? The composer Isaac Watts says it better than I ever could:

Did e'er such lover and sorrow meet,

or thorns compose so rich a crown.

Were the whole realm of nature mine, 

that were an offering far too small;

love so amazing, so divine, 

demands my soul, my life, my all.

Yes, my precious daughter has taught me many things, brought me unimaginable joy, and indescribably enriched my life. She is one of my brightest blazes of gladness. So would you believe that I never wanted her?

It's true. In fact, if you know me well, you know that I've said that about almost all of the really amazing gifts in my life (including my husband...don't worry, he already knows this. I'm not publicly confessing anything here). I naively believed the doctor who told me that I would likely never be able to have children and, for the sake of transparency, I'll confess to being terrified by horror stories of stretch marks, weight gain, morning sickness, atrocious labors and deliveries, etc...I should add that I'm now committed to sharing positive pregnancy and birth stories so, if you're interested, then ask me. I have a few. I was so adamant about not having biological children that it was part of our premarital counseling. I wanted to give Josh a fair warning because I knew that starting a family was important to him. That was one of many moments in my life when I'm sure the Lord was just looking down on me and chuckling. Now, let me tell you a little bit about my unexpected spark.

Surprise! Four months after our wedding, I found out that I was pregnant with a very unexpected, unplanned baby. I only got to carry that sweet little one for a few weeks before he or she (I think she...call it a mama's hunch) went home to be with the Lord. Short though it was, that little life accomplished a mighty purpose: changing my heart. I was still riddled with uncertainty about my ability to have babies and fears about the process, but I was confident that, if possible, I wanted to experience the gift of carrying and giving birth to life. Three months later: enter Jocelyn.

So today, along with celebrating 6 months of little J-Bird's life (Please indulge me as I use the cliche´, "I can't believe how time is flying!), I'm also celebrating all of the unexpected sparks that have turned into bright blazes of gladness in my life and thanking the Lord that,

As the heavens are higher than the earth, so [His] ways are higher than [my] ways and [His] thoughts than [my] thoughts. Isaiah 55:9

Thank goodness that I don't always get what I want! Hold hope, Friend, your current circumstances might be the kindle to your brightest blaze of gladness yet.